Halloween High-anxiety-jinks

About a month ago we got tickets to the Utah Symphony's annual Halloween Kid Concert. Sounded fun at the time: a cultural event that we could take kids to (which is to say, the only type of cultural event we could ever go to). Well, as I get older, and as I work with kids with certain challenges, I'm discovering more of my own challenges. As the time gets closer, I'm suddenly faced with all sorts of anxieties surrounding this concert and wishing I could avoid it somehow.
Apparently, we were avoiding some other anxieties about it as well. We know perfectly well how Ethan doesn't like events that are brimming with people (unless it involves Legos or fast cars). We know how it will turn out if we try to force him into it (sadness all around). But we didn't think to arrange an alternative plan for him until that morning. Naturally, we found that everyone we could think of had existing plans. But what coincidence! I didn't want to go either!
This is the challenge we face. What is the correct level of accommodation to take for these situations? We'd like to push Ethan enough that he can learn to deal with new and uncomfortable situations in more productive ways. But he is often too inflexible to try without the right incentive. We've learned not to push too hard, but I'm not sure that we haven't learned to push hard enough.
So, what is the correct level of accommodation for myself? I'm still struggling with anxiety and avoidance. I told myself all day, "It'll be fine. Everything will work out. You'll enjoy the concert. And nobody is going to force you to wear a dorky costume." But for some reason, all I could worry about was "But where am I going to park without getting another ticket?"
Resolution: This time I just let myself go with the flow. Judy is persistent and was anxious herself about driving in Salt Lake. She called several neighbors and was able to arrange someplace for Ethan to be so I could join them at the concert. Everything came together nicely, except the parking. Neither Judy nor I can stand the thought of paying for parking when there is free parking along the streets. So we drive past Abravanel Hall and there are no spaces. Past the Temple, and there is a nice place on the other side of the street. Construction up ahead. No left turn across Trax. More construction around the Salt Palace. Another parking space on the other side of the street. Now that we're going the correct direction, the space is taken. So is the other. Stupid horse and carriage can't go faster than 5 MPH when it knows GOOD AND WELL that the LAST SPACE I SAW WILL ATTRACT A CAR UNLESS I'M THERE IN 5 SECONDS??!! Does "Free 2 hour parking on Saturdays between 9 am and 6 pm" mean I have to pay after 6pm? This is why I didn't want to come.
We all survived. The kids didn't much care for the cultural experience. They mostly enjoyed sliding down the hand rails and jumping over the water fountain. I would have appreciated more Symphony and less opera. Ethan spent the evening playing computer games. Here are the pictures.

We started our cultural experience at Crown Burger, a place that we try to patronize annually. (When I worked at the Triad Center, I made it at least a monthly pilgrimage, which definitely made me more person than I was originally.) We brought Kyle's friend, Janessa, and Berrett's friend Curtis met us there.
There was a costume competition, so Janessa went as an angel, and Judy went as a sailor. Kyle went as a Batman fan and the rest of us went as sticks in the mud. Judy ended up taking roughly three dozen pictures, which gave Kyle plenty of opportunity to try out his different faces and poses.